It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
