btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
