My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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