he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
