You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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