Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
