She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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