Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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