It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
