You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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