He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
