So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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