Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Boobs speak an international language.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
