guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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