So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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