im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So many bounce houses so little time
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
