Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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