Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
