He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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