Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
