I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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