Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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