google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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