I am puke
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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