what day is it and did you see me today?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
