Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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