I accidentally burped into my bong.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
