You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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