Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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