i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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