Please, let me fuck your mom
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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