Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
