I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
