I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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