You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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