i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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