And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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