p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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