Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
