I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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