Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
