You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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