My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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