you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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