my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize