Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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