no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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