Fine. I'll sleep in my office
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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