i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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