I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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