if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
