Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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