Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
