so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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