so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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