So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
