No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
there is glitter all over my balls
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