Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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