): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
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I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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