You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize