you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
